So I sat there amongst friends, all gathered around the television, with a not-so-subtle Yuletide atmosphere skipping merrily through the room, whilst we watched Enchanted- the new Disney movie. Idyllic you might think. Not quite. Something was tainting the ambience- it wasn't the company though, it was the Disney. I know I'm supposed to like it, being magically transported back to my carefree child hood and everything- but I just don't,. Short of being submerged in a pool of cold sick its one of my least favourite things and I'll tell you why.
Disney is supposed to provide family entertainment- that's for children and adults. Flawed and predictable plots executed through superficial clichés are okay for kids. But what about those aged 8+? Liking Disney above primary development hardly speaks well for your cognitive abilities. If we were to compare, films in terms of nutrition, a Spielberg is perhaps a lively stir fry, a Tarantino, probably, vibrant sushi. Whereas Disney is more like some stale Monster Munch- tolerated by those who have never had better but looked upon in slight disgust but mainly complete indifference, by the rest.
Anyone who tries to convince you that Disney has sophisticated nuances or fine examples of artistic mastery is simply mad. And I'm not talking about zany or offbeat madness, I mean clinically insane, as in they wake up each morning and literally believe they are a cabbage. Unless you have taken a vast quantity of drugs or are unbelievably stupid there's nothing visible to Disney's merit and pretending otherwise is nothing short of pretentious deception. Its not even cute or adorably funny, you're only laughing because its Disney and you feel you must. Either that or you are a simpleton. Its not big, its not clever and its definitely not original. In fact, the laughter in the room of people I was sat in seemed only to exist through some sort of mutual, unspoken form of consent, that- 'we'll all laugh at the appropriate points in the film'.
Why do we do it to ourselves and more importantly why do we precondition our children when they are vulnerable and young? We simply set them up for the same social car crash in the future. Like 'The Force' in Star Wars, the unknowable force of Disney always seems to manage to sew the brand, merchandise and memories into the reminiscent fabric of our childhoods. An unwelcome guest in the house of our past, society made it a resident and it'll be going nowhere fast. So, it seems we have no choice. We may not like the false-sentiment-filled Disney films but its in our childhoods now and if we resent 'cherished' parts of our childhoods we're going to end up rather miserable- fucked in other words. Better to play it safe then.
Some may claim that I'm rather bah Humbug! I'm not, I'm just prepared to stand up proud and say (in the style of an AA meeting) 'Hi, my name is Adam. And I don't like Disney'. Some may try to say they adore Disney and that it is the most amazing thing ever, verging on inspirational. But the Lady doth protest too much I think. Its exactly those people that desperately clutch at the mere hint of possible innuendo in a Disney film. Its hard, I know, but its possible to face the trauma. The fact is, adults no longer live in a world where Santa is real or where monsters live under the bed. Disney may have applied to our world when we were young but its unrealistic and unconnected to the reality adults face now. You remember enjoying Disney when young (possibly) because we watched it through a different set of eyes. Watching it now, any enjoyment one tries to squeeze from the film is nothing but delusion. You don't escape into a Disney film as an adult, you escape into your childhood memories. Adults see Disney through the mind's eye, children don't they haven't enough of an archive to look at.
Watching Disney as a grown-up is nothing but regression. There's nought interesting in watching an anorexic, beauty pageant-esque, superficial animation prance about -LSD world and ball gowns, all the colours of the neon CGI rainbow, in tow. So let's plunge a knife into the DVD player and snatch our children away from the snapping jaws of the only real childhood monster- Disney.
1 comment:
YOU BASTARD!
Post a Comment